Thursday, March 5, 2015


Grief. It's a funny thing. Part of you wants to walk around with a sign saying, "My brother is no longer here and I am fucking devastated." And the other part says, if I don't say anything I won't have to explain why a young, loving, good, beautiful boy is no longer here.

See that's the trick. Why isn't he here? Stupid decisions? A last minute idea gone wrong? How do you explain he is gone without having him be defined by the last bad decision he made? He can't be defined by that. He was more then that. He was someone that always did well by his three sisters, that may not have returned the favor as often as they should. He was a good son that rarely complained about being the only boy, that had a lot on his shoulders, most of which we never even knew. He was a good friend, shown by the astounding turn out by them at his memorial held in a Catholic Church that probably had most of them cringing at the door. He was a loving boyfriend that had a great girlfriend who he had his last great adventure with. He tried to do well by all of us. How do you explain that to those who never knew him?

You don't.

You just keep that in your heart. In the place that counts.

He wasn't perfect. He made stupid decisions. He put himself in situations that he shouldn't have. But didn't you at one point? Don't you still today? The difference is that you and I made/make it past those mistakes intact. He didn't. Would you want your life to be defined by the last worse decision you made? No and neither should he.

He was a sweet, loving and caring human being and I hope that I can show at least a 10th of the amazing forgiveness and understanding that he had for anyone and everyone he came across. We should all strive to have that piece within ourselves.  

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